Why do depressed people lose interest in partners?

To answer the question of why a depressed person could lose interest in their partner, it’s important first to define depression. 

And I don’t want just to define depression, but I want to invoke an empathetic schema. You may be someone who always has a cheery disposition and rarely goes into the darkness that is depression. It is important to empathize with depression and then eventually move into a more compassionate space if we can. 

Depression can feel like many things to many different people. 

Depression is like a sludge that interrupts what we would normally truly enjoy. It is a very heavy heavy feeling. A person who loves animals may struggle to crack even a slight smile to their favorite new puppy. And so the same goes for a depressed person that is in a romantic relationship with someone else. 

Depression, if chronic, can be like another person in the relationship. 

In other words depression can make a dyadic intimate partnership a triadic partnership really quick. Depression affects an intimate monogamous relationship as if it is another person because essentially when a person is depressed it is not their true vital state, but a part of them that just happens. 

Why do depressed people lose interest in partners? 

Well, they lose interest in all things and people they may truly love and adore. It is important to recognize that depression is just a part of someone. And of course, it can negatively impact one’s relationships and it is important to maintain as much patience and compassion for the person or yourself as depression hits. To find the right therapeutic relationship can be the first step towards some liberation from depressive states of being.